redlips rednails redeyes

im flawless actually.

Tue, 21 May 2013 12:12:00 -0600

Yeah girl. Know your worth.

Amazing how many people read the term “Group Asian” used in jest and decided they never want to hear...

Mon, 20 May 2013 23:22:29 -0600

Amazing how many people read the term “Group Asian” used in jest and decided they never want to hear anything from me again. I don’t understand anyone. Unfollow my ass unfollow me do it now

To find new healthy recipes, walk up to a woman buying cucumber at the grocery store and whisper,...

Mon, 20 May 2013 18:50:35 -0600

To find new healthy recipes, walk up to a woman buying cucumber at the grocery store and whisper, “what are you gonna use that for?”

Siri, map me to the nearest 24-hour fur company

Mon, 20 May 2013 18:49:44 -0600

Siri, map me to the nearest 24-hour fur company

Chick in this store just said to her friend, “I had a dream you dyed your hair. You had like,...

Mon, 20 May 2013 14:30:07 -0600

Chick in this store just said to her friend, “I had a dream you dyed your hair. You had like, very subtle highlights. It looked so pretty.”

I love girls I love females

Everybody got their summer fling set up?

Mon, 20 May 2013 00:18:03 -0600

Everybody got their summer fling set up?

saddeer: I’m fun to flirt with but not to date because I’m a psychopath

Sun, 19 May 2013 23:41:51 -0600

saddeer:

I’m fun to flirt with but not to date because I’m a psychopath

I guess I say shopkeeper instead of salesgirl or clerk. Also I say bedside table instead of...

Sun, 19 May 2013 21:26:40 -0600

I guess I say shopkeeper instead of salesgirl or clerk. Also I say bedside table instead of nightstand. Grocer.

Damn me and the shopkeeper in this thrift store have called each other girl like nine times already...

Sun, 19 May 2013 21:23:03 -0600

Damn me and the shopkeeper in this thrift store have called each other girl like nine times already and I’m SICK OF US

One time I went into work still drunk and two hours late and I vomited a lot and told my manager I...

Sun, 19 May 2013 17:39:02 -0600

One time I went into work still drunk and two hours late and I vomited a lot and told my manager I had food poisoning from a chinese restaurant and after he let me go home early I went to chinatown because yum chinese food sounds good

Tofu is exactly how I imagine what it’d be like to eat cellulite

Sun, 19 May 2013 14:30:25 -0600

Tofu is exactly how I imagine what it’d be like to eat cellulite

powerburial: ivve been to so many places so please have mercy

Sat, 18 May 2013 22:51:19 -0600

powerburial:

ivve been to so many places so please have mercy

Saturday night I’m at a coffee shop uptown (no internet in my apt) and I’m watching this...

Sat, 18 May 2013 22:31:45 -0600

Saturday night I’m at a coffee shop uptown (no internet in my apt) and I’m watching this group of girls on a bar crawl out the window. One is wearing a veil. She’s crying. They’ve stopped so she can sit down on a patio chair. Each girl is taking turns either hugging her or grabbing her shoulders and giving a pep talk. I can’t hear them but the Group Asian has probably said “Let’s just have fun tonight” at least four times already. Another girl just tried to wipe the tears off bride-to-be’s face but got her hand SLAPPED AWAY.

God last night at dinner I had a glass of wine and a milkshake

Sat, 18 May 2013 16:20:57 -0600

God last night at dinner I had a glass of wine and a milkshake

What’s worse: “take my phone” or “send that to me”

Sat, 18 May 2013 14:30:17 -0600

What’s worse: “take my phone” or “send that to me”

Two old women are talking through the stalls and just farting and shitting and I think that’s...

Sat, 18 May 2013 13:46:15 -0600

Two old women are talking through the stalls and just farting and shitting and I think that’s what true friendship means

the longer you make me wait the more makeup i slab on my face hope ur cool with going out with a mtf...

Fri, 17 May 2013 20:27:00 -0600

the longer you make me wait the more makeup i slab on my face hope ur cool with going out with a mtf trans

You know when u drop a lightbulb or rip the closure tab on a cereal box and ur just like, this is...

Fri, 17 May 2013 20:13:35 -0600

You know when u drop a lightbulb or rip the closure tab on a cereal box and ur just like, this is the one thing i didn’t want to happen

More like Ok Weird girl with braces in high school you kept...

Fri, 17 May 2013 20:07:32 -0600

More like Ok Weird girl with braces in high school you kept around for constant validation that you’re hot

apprenticenecromage: I’m pretty conceited and into myself, but I’ll never hold myself in higher...

Fri, 17 May 2013 19:58:16 -0600

apprenticenecromage:

I’m pretty conceited and into myself, but I’ll never hold myself in higher regard than others just because I think I look nice. That’s why I don’t understand why people get mad at me for being cocky. My confidence is in regards to myself, and only myself. You are not a part of my feelings for who I am